Most of these stories are pretty fucked up.  Which is why I cleverly titled this page ‘Fucked Up Shit’… so I’d like to warn you, some of this fucked up shit is pretty fucked up.  So if you don’t wana keep reading the words fucked up shit cause it’s too fucked up, then kindly move on to Crazy Ass Relationships… actually those are pretty fucked up too.  How about my book?  Nah that’s even worse.  Fuck it, just read.


Protected: SNEAK PEEK: Volume 2 – Smash A Brick In Your Face

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April 20th, 2016|

Robyn Smith.

This is the tale of how Robyn Smith almost got murdered, or is already dead. True story. So I logged onto MySpace while my ex-girlfriend was at work. It was 2005. I was twenty years old and hadn’t seen this girl named Robyn since I was fourteen in this rehab in Louisiana, but now that MySpace had just come out, I wondered if I might be able to find her. So I frantically search for her all over MySpace but there's like a million Robyn Smiths (which isn't her real name but it’s just as generic). Then one day I [...]

February 10th, 2016|


I threw the dinner table over and finished that scene from A Streetcar Named Desire where Stanley flips his lid at Blanche for the first time at the dinner table. It was an intense scene and i had teared and grabbed my wife's tits during the scene in front of the class and I can only assume it was fairly entertaining to watch. then it was over. So Greg, please, tell us how you got there? got where? Were you able to relate this character to your life? uhh yeah. And can you tell us about it? uhh no. Greg... [...]

October 22nd, 2015|


So I'm at this bar in Hell's Kitchen with my co-star of a play I was performing in at the time called Tape, by Stephen Belber, when Duane, my co-star, says in a thick New York accent (even though he's from Rhode Island) Don't worry. I'll take care uvit. Take care of what? He notions for the cocktail waitress to come over and immediately I know what he's about to do- Dude no. Duane. I've got a girlfriend. Stop doing this shit. But he grabs a pen from his pocket anyway and steals my cocktail napkin and sloppily starts writing something in secretive [...]

October 20th, 2015|

Karma’s A Bitch

He was wearing three hoodies and two pairs of pants with his hood over his face holding a shopping bag. I couldn't see his face in the dark. We were outside the Flatiron Mall in Broomfield Colorado. I was 18. He told me to "Put the money on the ground" So I put twelve hundred bucks on the ground. Then he put the shopping bag he was holding on the ground and told me "Now we switch places." So we switched places. He grabbed my money off the ground as I grabbed the bag... Hmmm. Feels a bit light. Inside [...]

October 17th, 2015|

The Sheriff Robbed Me In Oklahoma

Was I speeding officer? Yeah well you were doin a bit over the limit. But I wasn't. I know for a fact I wasn't cause I had two ounces of pot I had bought in Colorado hidden all over the car in case it took me a bit to find someone in Queens that could match the quality.  I was goin below the speed limit. I know that. I was going 64 miles per hour.  Really? Cause I don't think I was.  Yeah well... You were. But I-- -just doin some random drug searches on all outa state license plates. [...]

October 11th, 2015|